Practically Imperfect in Every Way

Before I had kids, I had a pretty good vision of what motherhood would be like.  I would have a strict schedule – and stick to it.  We would never watch TV.  We would never eat fast food.  My house would be tidy and organized at all times – unlike some moms that I knew.  We would listen to classical music in the mornings and spend our time on educational projects.  

 

And then I had my first kid.  And my second.  And my third.  Turns out, this whole “motherhood” gig is a bit harder than it looks.  Turns out, I’m not Mary freaking Poppins.   And it’s time to admit it.

 

I was hugely inspired by a recent article, written by a fellow mom, about how much we all lie on Facebook (and other social media). You can read it here: http://www.kveller.com/blog/parenting/we-need-to-quit-telling-lies-on-facebook/

  Okay, maybe “lie” is too harsh.  Let’s just say that we tend to give our friends and family the highlight reel of how perfect and wonderful our lives are, while carefully omitting the ugly truths. 

 

Well, today I think that it’s time to celebrate those ugly truths.  Because that’s what’s real.  That’s what’s honest about our lives. That’s what we can share with our fellow moms and not make them feel like shit because they’re not up at 5am making homemade organic bread before serving their perfectly groomed children a hot breakfast of scrambled eggs (gathered from their own hens, of course) and pancakes made into adorable little faces.

 

I don’t know about ya’ll, but today I overslept and my kids had cold cereal.  

 

Well, one kid did.  The middle had to make it to speech by 7:30, which means she didn’t even have time to eat.  Which means that we stopped at Chik Fil A in between speech and preschool and ate in the car.  And for once, I’m going to be okay with that.  And I’m going to be okay with admitting it. 

 

I want for my girls to grow up knowing that IT’S OKAY to be a screw up.  It’s okay to fail.  It’s okay to try and not succeed.  IT IS OKAY TO BE IMPERFECT.   

 

So, let’s start telling each other truth.  Let’s start celebrating the dirty, frustrating, exhausting moments of motherhood instead of sweeping them under the rug.  Let’s start supporting each other, instead of trying to outdo each other.  Because no matter if you’re a stay at home parent, working parent, single parent, grandparent – this is WORK.  This is HARD.   And maybe if we would all just admit that, we could start going a little easier on ourselves – and each other.   

 

If we did that, maybe I wouldn’t feel like such a giant screw up on mornings like today, when I went to Lowe’s in an oversized sweatshirt and no bra.  Oh, and I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet, either (you’re welcome, Lowe’s employees!).  And my youngest accompanied me in her pj’s, cleverly disguised (or so I thought) by her winter boots and coat).   Maybe it wouldn’t bother me that instead of cleaning my ridiculously messy kitchen or doing educational crafts, we’re chilling on the couch catching up on the latest “My Little Pony”.     Maybe I wouldn’t be so embarrassed if a friend were to stop by and see my laundry room looking like this:

 

 

And my kitchen table looking this :

 

And my kid looking like this:

 

 

And me looking like this:

 

 

 

So here’s to telling the REAL story of motherhood. The wonderful, messy,  crazy-hard-but-worth-it life that we have chosen for ourselves.

Colorado or Bust! Day 5

Colorado Or Bust: Day 5

 

Colorado or Bust!  Loading up the ‘ol Family Truckster to drive 16 hours there, 16 hours back, for a grand total of 32 hours in the car with three small children.  Will we survive?

 

Day 5….better known as the day that I begin to research permanent birth control.  It started off fine.  We had settled into a pleasant morning routine of coffee, cozy fires, and cinnamon rolls.  We were up even earlier than usual this morning, as we had to catch a train.  A cog train.  A train that would carry us  14,000 feet to the summit of Pike’s Peak, inspiration for “America the Beautiful”.

We had originally planned on driving Pike’s Peak Highway up to the summit, only to be asked by many people, “Are you crazy?!”.  The reactions should have tipped us off, but we decided to look into it ourselves.  Reading that the hour long drive was a two-lane highway sans guardrail was the clincher.  Cog Train, here we come!

Choo Choo!

We drove into the train depot in Manitou Springs with the morning sun at our backs, excited to begin our adventure.   Until, of course, the girls had to potty.  And so did Skunkarella (L’s new skunk friend that travelled with us EVERYWHERE since her purchase).  I assumed that TL (my husband) and A would wait for us outside of the bathrooms….but  no.  We came out, Skunkarella in tow, to find my husband and youngest daughter missing.  We searched the bathrooms.  We searched the gift shop.  We searched the sidewalk in front of the train.

They had vanished.

My catastrophic mindset went into overdrive.  Were they abducted by backwoods mountaineers a la “Deliverance”? Had they accidentally stepped in front of a train?  Had a bear attacked? WHERE WERE THEY!?!?!?!

It turns out that they were in the coffee shop.  Buying me coffee.  Still, I was annoyed for undergoing an unnecessary panic attack (though to be fair, most of my panic attacks are unnecessary) and felt churlish towards TL.  This was exacerbated by the fact that I, being the type “A”, Monica from “Friends” kind of gal that I am, like to be early.  To everything.  Including trains.

TL is of the mind set that the less time that we had to spend on a small train with our three small children, the better.

In hind sight, he was probably right.   However, I insisted on getting on the train at the earliest possible chance to ensure that we would  not be left behind.  The big girls and I boarded, while TL and A played around the depot.  Another panic attacked ensued, with visions of L, C, and I riding to Pike’s Peak by ourselves while the other half of our family was left abandoned in a train depot.  And what’s worse, that was the half that had the camera!

But I needn’t have worried.  Shortly before the train whistle blew, TL and A boarded the train. TL plopped into the seat with a smug, “I told you so” grin that did not improve my mood.

Finally, we were off!  Wearing hats and cozy winter clothes, we left our windows open to breathe in the cool mountain air.  The tour guide began her schpiel, and we began our descent.

We’re so happy….for now.

And that’s where the trouble began.

L and C were content to look at the scenery for the first few minutes, but then boredom set in.  Being the overly prepared person that I strive to be, I delved into my backpack for the sticker books that I had packed.  They quickly and happily set to work.

And then A started.

Whining.  Crying.  Fussing.  Generally being discontent.

I read a book to her.  Which she threw.  I got out a coloring book for her.  Which she threw.  I got out a Leapster for her.  Which she threw.  I got a snack for her.  Which she threw.  As a last resort I took out my iPhone and played an episode of “Mickey Mouse”, which she loves.

Which she threw.

And then the crying REALLY began.  She writhed and twisted in my lap, screeching.  It was like trying to hold onto an ornery octopus.  I passed her to TL in exasperation, but she was having none of it.  The second her bottom left my lap, the wails of “Mama” began in earnest.  The childless passengers to our right were beginning to stare.

I took her back and tried to interest her in our surroundings, singing songs about choo choos and what not, but she was not having it.  Not.  One.  Bit.

And so this continued.  For over an hour.   Up  14,000 feet.

It’s beautiful, but who cares? Get me off this train!

We finally arrived at the Summit with relief.  We piled out of the train as quickly as possible, ready to escape it’s confines.  We stood in line to take our picture with the Summit sign, and then began to explore.  The girls were happy, because there was an abundance of rocks at the top of the mountain to play with and collect (they like rocks).  Mama was not, because of the abundance of un-guarded drop offs.  Mama wasn’t having it.  Not.  One.  Bit.

Still, I figured that with one hand firmly on A, we could let the other girls stand about twenty feet away from the drop off without me going into total panic mode.  TL disagreed – he thought that going a little closer for pictures would be fine.  This led to further churlish behavior on the part of yours truly, who could not get the picture of my sweet little babies plummeting to the earth below out of my brain.    Suffice it to say, drama ensued.  We were no longer speaking to each other by the time we went inside the shop to buy hot chocolate and high-altitude doughnuts.

Too close for comfort!

The hot chocolate and doughnuts were tasty, but C was displeased because they did not have chocolate doughnuts .  And she let that displeasure be known.  Loudly.

Are we having fun yet?

In exasperation I took the girls to wander the shop, and took my aggression out on my husband by purchasing an eight dollar magnet.

All too soon it was time to get back on the train, and we began our descent.  A was crying.  L and C were bored.  TL and I weren’t speaking.

Yea.

About five minutes away from the station, A got happy.  She looked out the windows, she flirted with passengers.  She morphed back into the sweet baby that I know her to be.  TL and I nodded at each other, silently agreeing to a truce.

Happy at last!

We drove back “home” in silence, and decided to take a detour to the town of Green Mountain Falls.  There’s not much there beside a gorgeous park and a FANTASTIC restaurant called “The Pantry”.  They’re known for their cinnamon raisin bread and cinnamon roll French toast, so how could we go wrong?  TL opted for the cinnamon roll French toast, which was amazing, but I opted for the green chili burger – because I refused to leave Colorado without eating as much green chili as possible.

And with that, peace was restored to our family.  We climbed a mountain with three small children.  And we survived.

Up next is Day 6, where we have a close encounter of the chipmunk kind, a zoo trip, and become witnesses for at least two drug deals.  Stay tuned!

 

Searching for Super Recipes: Hawaiian Meatball Sandwiches

I know, these sound a little weird.  But they were actually pretty fantastic, if I say so myself.  They are an amalgamation of several different recipes, mixed in with a little bit of “I watch Top Chef, I should be able to put together a recipe”.

And here is the result.

Here’s what you need:

Sauce:

1/3 cup of barbecue sauce (any kind will do)

2 Tbsp soy sauce/tamari

1 Tbsp grated gingerroot

1 Tbsp honey

1 tsp sesame oil

Meatballs:

1 lb lean ground turkey

1/3 cup plum sauce

1/3 cup Panko

3 Tbsp finely minced green onions

1 Tbsp minced fresh cilantro

1 egg

2 tsp minced garlic

1 tsp grated gingerroot

1 tsp sesame oil

Salt and Pepper to taste

Sandwiches:

1 package King’s Hawaiian rolls

Approximately five chunks of pineapple

1/2 bell pepper (any color), sliced

1/4 white onion, sliced

 

Here’s what you do:

1) Preheat the oven to 400 F.  Spray a rimmed cookie sheet or large baking pan with cooking spray and set aside.

2) Combine all of the meatball ingredients in a large bowl.  Form meat mixture into approximately 30 1 to 1-1/2″ meatballs.  Place on prepared pan.

3) Bake for 18 to 20 minutes, until the meatballs are cooked through and browned on the outside.

4) While the meatballs are cooking, prepare the sauce.  Whisk together all sauce ingredients and set aside.

To assemble the sandwiches:

Cut a Hawaiian roll in half.  Spread a dollop of the sauce on the bottom.  Top with a meatball, followed  by onion, pepper, and a slice of pineapple.  Put the other half of the roll on top and voila!  Hawaiian meatball sandwich!

I served three sandwiches per adult, and one per kid with fries and salad on the side.  We even played Hawaiian music via Pandora, until it began to get annoying (which was about five minutes in).

Aloha!

 

 

Things I Learned in Kindergarten

L’s last day of kindergarten is today, and the experience is very bittersweet for me.  On one hand, I am so freaking excited about having her home all day, every day, that I can’t stand it.  On the other hand, how is it that the year is already over? And that as of tomorrow she will be a FIRST GRADER?

Back in August, it felt like this day would never come.  I was a nervous wreck on the first day of school, anxious and emotional.  I couldn’t wait until summertime and for kindergarten to be over  - and now it is.  And I’m going to miss it.  Kindergarten was a pivotal time for all of us, not just for L.

Here’s what I learned in kindergarten this year:

• My babies can survive without me with them every second of the day
• I can survive without them every second of the day
• It’s okay to trust other adults with the care and stewardship of my children (during school hours at least)
• (Most of) the teachers and staff care almost as much as we do about seeing our kids safe, happy, and successful
• I can no longer be the sole administrator of my child’s social life
• “Phineas and Ferb” is actually a pretty funny show
• Potty talk is something that I have learned to tolerate (to a degree)
• Sight words are a big deal
• So is counting to 100
• Rules taught in the classroom can also be enforced at home.  My favorite?  ”Sit on your pockets and show me your five”.  They also work with three-year-olds.
• You’re never too old to love the Book Fair, and the posters are still awesome
• Riding the bus isn’t as scary as I thought it was
• I can’t force my kid to eat vegetables just because I put it in her lunchbox
• PE is MUCH cooler than it was when I was a kid
• Never underestimate the importance of sending money on Spirit Shop days
• Five year olds can become quite fluent in sarcasm
• Watching your baby become an independent kid isn’t as hard as you think it will be

First Day of School

Last Day of School

Learning to Let Go, Revisited (aka “I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore”)

A couple of weeks ago I had an epiphany, in which I decided that I was too uptight.  Too neurotic.  Too anxious.  So, in an attempt to eradicate these character flaws, I decided to “let things go”.  I stopped chasing after the kids, picking up toys in their wake.  I let mail pile up. I threw out my cleaning schedule.  I even, as ridiculous as it sounds, tried to schedule days where I purposely didn’t make the bed.

But then I realized, that all of this “letting go” was having the exact opposite effect that I had intended! I was actually becoming more stressed, more neurotic, and more anxious!  Today, as I was busy vacuuming and dusting the house, I found myself singing.  And smiling.  And, glory be to God, HAPPY!   I was cleaning in that slightly anal, slightly perfectionist way I have and found myself loving every minute of it.  All of this time I’d been trying to become laid back, I was fighting against my own nature.  Giving into these neurotic tendencies actually feels really….good.  Comfortable.  Why fight it anymore? Why try to become something that I’m not?  I’ve been so concerned about teaching my daughters my anxious habits that I didn’t realize that in my attempts to become a laid back person,  I was teaching them something worse: I was teaching them that it’s not okay to be yourself.  And that’s not anything that I would ever want them to learn from me.

So today, I have cleaned my house.  And in a minute, I’ll re-print my cleaning schedule.  And maybe, if I get crazy tonight, I’ll reorganize my recipe binder.  And I’ll be happy.

The Kindness of Strangers

I’ve just returned home from spending four days at the hospital with my mom, who is recovering from major surgery.  During that time I was amazed – utterly amazed – at how rude, insensitive, and unconcerned some people can be towards those in need.   But even more so, I was awed and gratified to see the sheer kindness that we received from total strangers.

Take the volunteer who runs the Corner Café on the surgical floor, where my dad and I waited during my mom’s procedure.  She nurtured us with food and frequent use of the endearment “honey”, which was the exact sort of comfort that we needed during a stressful time.   Or Savannah, the night nurse that my mom referred to as an “angel in the night”, who took such amazing, warm, loving care of my mom that we felt that we’d known her our whole lives.  Or Jorge, the day nurse on Saturday who went above and beyond to attend to my mom’s every single need, to offer smiles, encouragement, and the pleasure of being treated like a human being.  Or the clinical assistants who stopped to chit chat while they took vital signs.  Or the sweet housekeeper, Angela, who offered to pray for healing and suggested that we move across the hall because a room with a view had just become available(and the one we were in was gray, depressing, and facing a dirty brick wall).  Or the people I met in the elevator on the way down to the cafeteria who just looked into my tired eyes and smiled.

This, however, is in strict contrast to some other encounters.  We dealt with insensitivity, lack of concern, and downright cruelty at the hands of some of our nurses (in my book, making a patient wait forty-five minutes to receive their medication is cruel).  And the signs that we would see on the hall in other patient’s doorways, rude signs that screamed “CLOSE the door when you leave!”; “ASK before you turn the light on!”, etc. When Savannah came to say goodbye to us when her shift ended, she said, “Thank you for being so nice to me.”  I asked, dumbfounded, “Are people normally not nice?”   She smiled and said, “You would be surprised.  The nice ones are few and far between.”   Now, I understand that when people are in the hospital that they are exhausted, stressed, and in pain.  And their family members may not be doing much better.  But I saw first hand just how hard most of those nurses and clinical assistants work – twelve hour shifts with a 30 minute break, which they mayor may not get?  They deserve a little slack.

So what have I learned from this crazy, stressful, teachable time ?  I’ve learned that any small kindness is noticed by the person that receives it.  That people yearn to be humanized, recognized, looked in the eye.  I love that line from  “As Good as it Gets”, when Greg Kinnear says, “If you look at someone long enough, you discover their humanity”.  And it’s SO true.   So please, go out there today and discover someone’s humanity.  I guarantee that it will not go unnoticed.

So Fresh and So Clean Clean

As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts, I’m a little bit neurotic.  One of the things that I’m most neurotic about is my house and it’s cleanliness (or uncleanliness).  I’d love to have it just so, Pottery Barn catalog perfect, at all times.  However, with three kids, three pets, and a husband in the house it’s not really feasible.

But I try.

Recently, I’ve discovered that having a set cleaning schedule has really helped my efforts.  It ensures that the house is relatively  clean most of the time.  A couple of friends on Facebook asked about it, so here it is:

Daily Chores

Morning:

Unload the dishwasher

Make the beds

Wipe down the bathroom counters (typically I only do this in the master and guest baths, because they get used more often than the bathroom upstairs)

Evening:

Do the dishes

Wipe down the kitchen counters/table

Sweep the kitchen/living room

De-clutter/pick up toys

And then throughout the week I do the following chores per day:

Monday: Deep vacuum.

Did you know that it apparently takes SEVEN passes of the vacuum cleaner to actually clean the carpet?  That’s a bit much for me, but I have tried to do at least four passes per section before moving on.  Sometimes.

Tuesday: Dust surfaces and wipe mirrors.

Typically, I just use my Swiffer duster and give a pass over all of the blinds and the furniture – I don’t actually polish anything.

Wednesday: Tubs and Toilets

Thursday:  Mop all of the floors

Friday: Rotates between the following:

1) Polish all of the furniture and wipe down the cabinets

2) Clean all of the baseboards (again, I just use my Swiffer duster to do this)

3) Vacuum/wipe all of the uphostery

4) Scrub the fridge, microwave, and oven

Saturday: Laundry

I know it sounds like a lot, but it actually saves me SO much time.  Rather than wasting a whole Saturday morning cleaning the house from top to bottom, I do it in little increments throughout the week.  Give it a try and let me know what you think!

Or you could just hire a maid.  Which actually sounds pretty awesome.

Top 10 Awesomely Bad 80′s Movies

I love 80′s movies.  They remind me of staying up late with my brother during the summers, eating Cool Ranch Doritos and drinking Cokes (the snack of champions).  He and I would act out the scenes while they were playing on the screen: sometimes we would use ourselves, and sometimes we would use a cast of characters culled from my Barbies and his G.I. Joes.  We were obviously very cool.

I love 80′s movies so much, in fact, that I decided to make a list of my favorites (because I am obviously still very cool).  Here are my all-time top 10 awesomely bad 80′s movies:

10. Mannequin

Andrew McCarthy and a young, less slutty Kim Cattrall; what could be better?   Andrew McCarthy plays Jonathan Switcher, an artist who sucks at everything besides making mannequins and window displays.  It turns out that his favorite mannequin is actually possessed by an ancient Egyptian with a passion for fashion.  Together they make astonishing window displays for Prince & Company, a department store, much to the dismay of their clothing competition, Illustra.  Drama ensues, with young Jonathan caught in all sorts of compromising positions with his plastic love.   Best part of the movie? Creepy James Spader.

9. No Retreat, No Surrender

Jean-Claude, back in the heigh-day!  I have NO idea what I loved this movie so much as a kid; I suspect that I was heavily influenced by my Bruce Lee-loving brother.   Jason Stillwell, a kid whose dad was beat up by a gang of numchuk-wielders, moves to a new town only to become an instant target for bullies.  He somehow summons the ghost of Bruce Lee to train  him in the arts of karate, eventually using his new skills to save Seattle from a crime wave, lead by Jean-Claude.  So bad.  So awesome.

8. Splash

No compilation of bad 80′s movies would be complete without “Splash”.  Tom Hanks falls for a mermaid, who flashes the visitors at the Statue of Liberty and names herself Madison.  Here’s a bit of trivia: this movie was nominated for a Golden Globe AND an Oscar.  Bonus points if anyone can tell me what categories they were (without Google!).

7.

Big Business

Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin….AND Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin!  In the 1940′s, two sets of identical twins are born in the same hospital, on the same night.   The nurse on duty accidentally switches the twins (not noticing, I suppose, that one identical twin  is small with dark hair, and the other chubby with red hair).  One set goes to live in the country with a poor family, and one to a rich family in the big city.  Fast forward to the 1980′s, when both sets of twins collide in an attempt to save a factory.  There’s a scene where Bette Midler sees her twin and assumes that it’s a mirror, which my brother and I repeatedly acted out.  No, we are not identical twins.

6. Twins

Arnold, before he was governor, and Danny, when he was still able to get acting jobs.  A set of super twins is created in a lab but separated at birth find each other, and attempt to find their birth mother.  Enter a young Kelly Preston and you’ve got yourself box office gold!

5. Vice Versa

Judge Reinhold and Fred Savage play a father and son who magically switch bodies.  Not to be confused with “Like Father, Like Son“, starring Kirk Cameron, which is basically the same thing.   Confession? I always thought that Judge Reinhold was kind of hot.

4.  Walk Like a Man

My brother and I freaking LOVED this movie.  Howie Mandel as a boy raised by wolves is reunited with his fancy family (hello, Christopher Lloyd!).   Howie can’t keep his canine instincts in check, so he runs amok among his rich relatives, chewing on furniture and chasing fire trucks.  There’s a pretty sweet scene where he gives (ahem, steals) a Teddy Ruxpin doll for a little girl that can’t afford it. Don’t judge; dogs don’t understand monetary value.

3.  The Secret of My Success

Who can resist Michael J. Fox?    MJF plays Brantley (totally awesome 80′s name), a young kid from the country who moves to the big city to  make his fortune.   He cons his way into his uncle’s firm, sleeps with his aunt, and  falls for Helen Slater.  A little like Oedipus, but what 80′s movie doesn’t have a Greek tragedy underlining?

2. License to Drive

The two Coreys.  Need I say more?  If you haven’t seen this movie, slap yourself and get on Netflix RIGHT THIS MINUTE.  By the way, I just this minute realized that Heather Graham played Mercedes Lane.   Wow.

And the number one AWESOMELY BAD 80′s MOVE IS………….

1. The Legend of Billie Jean

There are so many reasons that this movie made the top of my list.   First, it takes place in Corpus Christi, TX, and frankly, there are not a lot of good movies set in Texas.  Second, young Christian Slater is YUMMY.  Third, it’s about a rebellious teenage GIRL, and frankly teenage girls don’t get a lot of street cred.  I loved Billie Jean and totally wanted to be her. Maybe that’s why I keep chopping off my hair and only wearing one earring…..

In case any of you noticed the glaring absence of John Huges and John Cusack movies (and who wouldn’t?), it’s because never, under any circumstances, could a movie by John Hughes or starring John Cusack be considered “bad”.  Ever.

Now tell me your favorite awesomely bad 80′s movies!

Sewing 101: My First Attempt at Skirts

I recently bought Brett Bara’s “Sewing in a Straight Line”, and decided to attempt the “one-hour skirt”.  It seemed a bit more complicated than pillows, but maybe not quite as difficult as following a pattern.  Here’s a link to her website, with a video demonstration of how to sew the skirt: http://www.brettbara.com/how-to/book-video-how-to-sew-a-one-hour-skirt/

And – lo and behold – I did it.  I made not one, but TWO skirts!  That are wearable!  And not completely horrible!  And that I adjusted to fit children!  Here’s how I did it, in case you want to make a not too horrible skirt, too.

You’ll need:

-1 to 2 yards of medium weight fabric (I used cotton; Brett Bara suggests a cotton-linen blend), depending on the size of the skirt

-1″ wide elastic, cut to fit your waist circumference (Brett Bara called for 1 3/4″, but I couldn’t find it)

-A large safety pin

Step 1: Wash, dry, and iron your fabric (according to all the sewers I know, this is of grave importance).

Step 2: Cut

Measure the hip circumference, about 7″ or 8″ below your natural waist.  C’s skirt, which is what’s pictured here, was 24″ wide.   Next, measure the length.  I wanted the skirt to hit just above knee level, so I measured her from waist to knee and added an inch for the hem.

Cut two rectangles with a width equal to your first measurement and a length equal to your second measurement.

Measure the waist circumference and cut a piece of elastic to that measurement minus 1″.

Step 3: Sewing Side Seams

Pin together the two pieces of fabric with the right sides facing each other.

 Next, sew each piece along the length edges with a 1/4″ seam. (Brett Bara calls for a French seam, which I couldn’t quite figure out – so I just pressed the seams instead).

Step 4: Sew the Waistband

Turn under the top edge of the fabric 1/2″ (I used my cutting board to measure; a ruler might be a wise investment) and press.

Turn under this fold top edge 1.5″; press and then pin it.

Topstich (aka sew on the outside) the folded edge in place, leaving an opening near one of the side seams about 4″ long.

Step 5: Sew the Hem

Turn the hem under 1/2″ and press.  Turn it under again 1″; press and then pin it.

Topstich the hem in place.

Step 6: Finish the Waistband

Here’s where things get tricky.  Attach a safety pin to one end of the elastic.  Thread it through the entire waistband casing, which is difficult because it wants to twist.  It’s also difficult when you don’t measure your casing correctly and make it too small for the elastic to fit through – which is what I did.  And then you have to start over.  Which is annoying.

When the safety pin gets back to the opening, overlap the two elastic edges and sew them together.  Just go back and forth a few times.  Insert the now-joined elastic ends back into the casing.  Topstich the opening of the casing closed.

Step 7: Ta-Da!

Scoot the gathers along the waistband to make them nice and pretty.  Brett Bara tells you to “stich in the ditch” along each side seam at the waistband to secure the elastic in place, but I opted against it.  And you’re done! You made a skirt that your child can actually wear*!

*As long as nobody looks at your funky looking hem and wobbly seams too closely

And here’s my child, modeling hers:

Here’s a link to Brett Bara’s book on Amazon, in case you want to buy your own*: http://www.amazon.com/Sewing-Straight-Line-Crafty-Projects/dp/0307586650/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1333485313&sr=1-1

*Brett Bara has no idea how I am, so this is by no means a paid endorsement.  I’ve yet to be paid to endorse anything, though I would very much like to be.  I’ve just found her book to be very helpful so far.

 

Temporary Semi-Vegetarians

My husband came home from work today and informed me of his intentions to participate in a weight-loss bet at work (again).  If he wins, he could gain a sizeable chunk of cash.  If he loses, he loses big – he loses his hair.

Yes, he actually agreed to shave his head.

Now, his flowing locks are one of the reasons that I married him, and I do not intend to see so much as a trim come off that mane without my consent.  Since I was forced to have a vested interest in this boys’ bet, I’m now Head Cheerleader in Charge of Weight Loss.  Poor man – I wonder if he realizes that I have the power to starve him?

Actually, I’ve decided that if I can’t beat ‘em, I’ll join ‘em.  Over dinner (which was relatively sensible), TL and I came up with a reasonable weight loss plan that involves a minimum of sacrifice.  I have decided, after reading “Food Matters” by Mark Bittman, to eat vegan until 6pm.  No animal products and no artificial/processed foods until dinner time – and then I can eat what I want (within reason).  The thought process behind this is that if I know I have a big ‘ol steak waiting for me at the end of the day, it’s easier for me to say no to that pastrami on rye at lunch (and save myself who knows how many calories).  TL isn’t willing to go that extreme, but he has agreed to go vegetarian during the day, which will definitely cut a chunk out of his daily caloric intake.  Since I’m in charge of meal planning and cooking, I can make sure that we only eat lean meats in the evenings, if we even eat meat at all.  We might even save some money out of this thing, too – added bonus!  And yes, I know that from a weight loss stand point it makes the most sense to eat our heavier meal earlier in the day, but this works better for our schedule.

So there you have it.  We’ve become semi-vegetarians/vegans*.  And who knows? Maybe I’ll actually get into a bikini for the first time in….well, let’s not go there.

*Until July