Before I had kids, I had a pretty good vision of what motherhood would be like. I would have a strict schedule – and stick to it. We would never watch TV. We would never eat fast food. My house would be tidy and organized at all times – unlike some moms that I knew. We would listen to classical music in the mornings and spend our time on educational projects.
And then I had my first kid. And my second. And my third. Turns out, this whole “motherhood” gig is a bit harder than it looks. Turns out, I’m not Mary freaking Poppins. And it’s time to admit it.
I was hugely inspired by a recent article, written by a fellow mom, about how much we all lie on Facebook (and other social media). You can read it here: http://www.kveller.com/blog/parenting/we-need-to-quit-telling-lies-on-facebook/
Okay, maybe “lie” is too harsh. Let’s just say that we tend to give our friends and family the highlight reel of how perfect and wonderful our lives are, while carefully omitting the ugly truths.
Well, today I think that it’s time to celebrate those ugly truths. Because that’s what’s real. That’s what’s honest about our lives. That’s what we can share with our fellow moms and not make them feel like shit because they’re not up at 5am making homemade organic bread before serving their perfectly groomed children a hot breakfast of scrambled eggs (gathered from their own hens, of course) and pancakes made into adorable little faces.
I don’t know about ya’ll, but today I overslept and my kids had cold cereal.
Well, one kid did. The middle had to make it to speech by 7:30, which means she didn’t even have time to eat. Which means that we stopped at Chik Fil A in between speech and preschool and ate in the car. And for once, I’m going to be okay with that. And I’m going to be okay with admitting it.
I want for my girls to grow up knowing that IT’S OKAY to be a screw up. It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to try and not succeed. IT IS OKAY TO BE IMPERFECT.
So, let’s start telling each other truth. Let’s start celebrating the dirty, frustrating, exhausting moments of motherhood instead of sweeping them under the rug. Let’s start supporting each other, instead of trying to outdo each other. Because no matter if you’re a stay at home parent, working parent, single parent, grandparent – this is WORK. This is HARD. And maybe if we would all just admit that, we could start going a little easier on ourselves – and each other.
If we did that, maybe I wouldn’t feel like such a giant screw up on mornings like today, when I went to Lowe’s in an oversized sweatshirt and no bra. Oh, and I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet, either (you’re welcome, Lowe’s employees!). And my youngest accompanied me in her pj’s, cleverly disguised (or so I thought) by her winter boots and coat). Maybe it wouldn’t bother me that instead of cleaning my ridiculously messy kitchen or doing educational crafts, we’re chilling on the couch catching up on the latest “My Little Pony”. Maybe I wouldn’t be so embarrassed if a friend were to stop by and see my laundry room looking like this:
And my kitchen table looking this :
And my kid looking like this:
And me looking like this:
So here’s to telling the REAL story of motherhood. The wonderful, messy, crazy-hard-but-worth-it life that we have chosen for ourselves.